From a possibly-never-to-be-realised hobbyist project which, for reasons scarcely worthy of explication, demanded saucy limericks about wizardry.

There once was a tightfisted mage
Whose golem had him in a rage.
His mindless creation
Caused endless frustration;
But it’s that, or pay someone a wage.

An old necromancer named Ned
Was so fond of the woman he wed
That he gave her more life.
Said his zombified wife,
“Now at least there’s one stiff in this bed.”

A skint necromancer named Jade
Had a woman called Rose as her maid.
Since Rose ‘slipped’ on the floor
Things go on as before,
But Rose moans more and doesn’t get paid.

A mage of air, lustily crazed,
At a pretty young sorceress gazed.
Since her bottom looked pert
He sent gales up her skirt,
But a dustcloud was all that he raised.

There once was a witch named Cecilia
Whose life with her husband grew chillier.
Not the seven year itch,
But his death. He’s a lich
Now and she's not keen on necrophilia.

An unfortunate lover is Rex,
Now an ice elemental’s his ex.
Her cold waters he’d woo;
She was fond of him too,
Right until he lit up after sex.

A mage with a beautiful daughter
Made a golem to guard and escort her.
With her clay chaperon
She was never alone
At her job in the old red light quarter.