Piracy and Parity

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In the news:

Suspected internet pirates will have 20 working days to appeal against allegations of copyright infringement and must pay £20 to do so, according to revised plans to enforce the UK’s Digital Economy Act.

In my dreams:

Dear [company], Thank you for your recent letter of accusation. We regret to inform you that in order to process your accusation, we require a handling charge of £20 per claim in order to cover costs. Please provide proof of payment within twenty working days to allow us to continue proceedings. Thank you for contacting our helpdesk; your suspicion is important to us.

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